


angela sees her favorite patient

by alecjbi



Series: transgender jesse mccree [3]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Blackwatch, Blackwatch Era, Blackwatch Jesse McCree, Blackwatch Reaper | Gabriel Reyes, Bonding, Gen, Gender Dysphoria, Healing, Pre-Fall of Overwatch, Trans Character, Trans Jesse McCree, Trans Male Character, Transgender Jesse McCree
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-23
Updated: 2017-09-23
Packaged: 2018-12-21 15:41:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11947362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alecjbi/pseuds/alecjbi
Summary: in which jesse makes a mistake





	angela sees her favorite patient

**Author's Note:**

> hey hey hey thank you guys for all the love on the previous two works! i wouldn't be writing if it weren't for you
> 
> check me out on tumblr (alecjb.tumblr.com) and twitter (twitter.com/diiffindo) if you so desire, and read the first two parts of this series, and my other works "fallen empires" amd "elementary, my dear watson" if you haven't! (you don't have to, but this might make more sense if you read the first to parts y'know. and the other two fics are the ones with the big plot and shit so if you're into that and some mchanzo angst, check that out)

In the years that Angela had been working in the medical field, she had never had a favorite patient.

Of course, her time as an attending in Switzerland had brought many patients to her. Those that stayed long began to form an attachment with the doctor, a bittersweet occasion for Dr. Ziegler. She loved each and every one of her patients (it was hard not to when she was wrist deep in the stomach of most of them) and was deeply saddened when they left. Angela had to take a day off during her internship when a patient died, and since then, the doctor swore never to make attachments with patients that could not be broken. 

However, when she saw Jesse McCree knock on her door with a bloodied hand and tears in his eyes, Angela knew she would not be able to uphold that promise.

It must've been after midnight, Angela had lost track. The base was quiet, no shouts from soldiers wandering the halls outside Angela's office. She was slouched in front of an ancient computer attempting to recover patient files and medical history after a recent power outage. The doctor had been begging Reyes to get a new a system to store files, but she was dismissed. After Genji showed up at Blackwatch, they were nearly broke. Angela sighed and took a gulp of coffee, rubbing her scalp and causing it to fall out of the half-hearted ponytail it was in. Just when Angela's eyelids were starting to droop shut, a sharp knock on her door alerted her to her guest. 

"Come in," she called, her voice seeming foreign to her due to lack of sleep. She turned around as the door creaked open, fluorescent lighting from the halls streaming into the room. There stood Jesse, holding a bloodied hand in his other, tear stains decorating his cheeks. He stood timidly, his shoulders hunched as if he were going to curl in on himself. The usually loud, rambunctious boy stood in front of Angela, looking so  _small_. 

"What happened?" Angela asked, untangling her crossed legs and striding over to the teenager. Instead of a response, Angela found a pair of tight arms around her, a familiar mop of hair pressed into her chest. The swell in her chest immediately told her that a promise she made to herself years ago had been broken. The doctor found herself hugging him back, shifting her weight between her feet and rocking the child back and forth. She took a deep breath, inhaling the smell of Jesse- cigarette smoke and mint- feeling more like a mother than a doctor.

She never had time to even think of becoming a mom. But now... she might as well already be one. 

Angela pushed Jesse away, holding him at arm's length and studying his face. Nothing seemed to be wrong, barring a pair of large, dark bags under his eyes that Angela undoubtedly was sporting as well. The doctor noted the bloody hand hanging at Jesse's side and picked it up gently, seeing the ripped skin at the knuckles. "Seriously, Jesse, what happened?"

The teenager sighed, and although it looked as if he were about to cry, no tears escaped. His voice was deep, rough- whether it was sleep or an attempt to sound masculine, Angela did not know. "I, uh, punched a wall..." he muttered, eyes darting away from the doctor in order to escape the disappointing glare he knew he would receive. 

However, none came. 

"Gabriel will not be happy," Angela said matter-of-factly, reaching behind Jesse and turning on the lights with a wave of a hand. "You have already destroyed enough of Blackwatch's property." 

Jesse smiled slightly. "Well, maybe 'e shouldn't 've left the keys in those trucks," he said, nearly laughing as Angela threw him a scathing look. 

"You could not even drive in Deadlock, what made you think that you could drive here?" she asked, washing her hands and throwing on gloves, still while glaring at Jesse. Angela jerked her head towards the exam table. Jesse seemed to understand, walking over and hopping on it- this time without his usual swagger. A sad look remained in his eyes, causing Angela's heart to break against her will. The doctor sighed as she pulled out disinfectant and gauze.

"Well, I don't have anyone t' teach me," he stated as Angela turned around. After studying the teenager for a moment, the doctor sighed.

"I can teach you," she said, delighting in the way Jesse's face started to brighten. "It's either me or Gabriel, and I am not quite sure that he is the best driver either. You two would probably kill each other in the process." The corners of Angela's mouth curled up as she spoke, promising words coming out as she cleaned off Jesse's wound.

"That's awful kind of y-"

"However, there is one condition." Angela glanced up to see a confused-looking teenager, studying the doctor's face intently. "You must tell me why you punched a wall, and tell me _every_ time you get hurt."

Jesse frowned. "C'mon, I'd be seein' ya for every paper cut I got."

"I mean it, Jesse."

The boy's stubborn frown dissolved into something... sadder. Angela pursed her lips as not to frown with him. "Genji made me. I punched the wall, and said I didn't need to come down here-"

"That doesn't answer my question, Jesse." Doctor Ziegler held the boy's hand in hers, cupping it against her cheek. Jesse's eyes seemed to shine, tears building up. Angela reached out and brushed a hair out of his face, and a small tear fell out, cascading down the young boy's cheek.

It felt... maternal. It felt right.

"I just..." Jesse started, staring at his feet and clenching his eyes shut. "Everything fucking sucks." Instead of reprimanding Jesse for his language, Angela simply ran her hands through his hair. "It's gon' be forever until I get a binder, until I can actually  _be_ a guy. Until then, I'm just some little girl playing pretend." His voice dropped to a whisper, breaking on "girl". "Nothin's goin' right. And... and I wanted to hurt myself, I guess, I dunno. But I couldn't, because I know you 'n Gabe 'n Genj would be mad at me, so... I punched a wall. It woke Genj up, 'pparently I screamed or somethin'." Jesse stopped for a moment, taking in a gulp of air before speaking again. "It's just... I wanna be a boy so badly, y'know?" Jesse met Angela's gaze, tears streaming out freely. The doctor leaned forward and gathered the young boy in her arms, rubbing circles into his back. She could feel Jesse gasping for air against her shoulder, crying for all the things he could not get. Angela tightened her grip, eventually pulling away when the boy's breathing calmed. 

"Jesse James McCree," she said, tipping Jesse's face up to make them meet eyes. "You always were, and forever will be a man. No birth certificate, no body can tell you otherwise. No matter how you look, you will always be a man to me. Whatever is in there," she said, putting a finger on Jesse's chest, making him squirm, "is what you are. No one can tell you otherwise."

Jesse opened his mouth as if to say something, but nothing came out. Angela climbed onto the exam table, gathering the boy in her arms once again and leaning back. She found herself humming lullabies her mother had sang to her years ago. It seemed to calm Jesse, and she decided to sing them, the boy relaxing at the soft melodies. Soon enough, Jesse's breathing had slowed, his eyes closed and peaceful. He was at rest.

Angela lay there, not daring to move in the fear that she would wake Jesse. But, in reality, she didn't want to be anywhere else but here.  

* * *

 

"Hey doc," Jesse said as his eyes fluttered open, a few hours later. Slowly, he jumped off the exam table, stretching and walking towards the door. "Was that 'no body' thing supposed to be a pun?"

Angela turned away, refusing to let Jesse see her smile. "No, Jesse. I think you may need to get your hearing checked. 

The doctor heard a few more steps towards the door before they stopped. She turned towards the boy, tipping her head in inquiry. Jesse simply stood there, staring at the floor in something between sadness and joy. 

"Thanks for everythin', Angela," he finally said, looking up at Doctor Ziegler with expectant eyes. Angela smiled sadly. 

"Anytime, Jesse. I am always here." Jesse smiled one last time, tipping a hat that wasn't on his head and turning out the door. Angela brought herself back to solid ground and sat herself at her computer, the adventures of the night bringing her back to full consciousness. Clicking on the open tab, she found that Jesse's file was open. Smiling slightly to herself, she scrolled her cursor over the option for gender. Two clicks, and a change was made. 

A week later, Angela found a bar of expensive Swiss chocolate on her desk, an attached note reading "-JJM". Angela smiled, teeth and all, before putting the note in an ornate box on a shelf above her desk. She placed the box back in its place and sat down, the initials ringing clear in her head the rest of the day. 

Angela had broken her promise, yet she could not be happier about it. 

**Author's Note:**

> i was stuck on ideas for this until i punched a wall last night bc i was so dysphoric and on my period,, my hand fucking hurts (i've never punched anything why did i decide to now owwwww)
> 
> i luv angie i suppose it's no surprise that i'm a mercy main (more like support but i have to most hours on mercy overall) i'm sorry this chapter took awhile!! i've been feeling dysphoric (evident by the beginning of the note) and i didn't really wanna write. oopsies. 
> 
> so if you haven't noticed, these notes are just kind of where i talk about shit. some pertaining to the work, some not. most not. in that case, how are you guys doing? i'm doing dandy, i've been obsessed with be more chill lately (yes i am the typical theater nerd let me live) and. while i hate the squip i love him too? his voice is v attractive and GODDAMN pitiful children. that song gives me life. wow


End file.
